By DeLane McDuffie
Warning labels and signs are everywhere. Some are unique to each of us. For instance, for years, whenever I visited a greasy spoon, I knew that the quality of the food was inversely proportionate to the number of teeth the head cook had. The fewer teeth, the tastier the food. Moreover, warning labels populate our grocery stores' aisles. Although they're necessary due to the litigious times we live in, some of these labels are more questionable than others. See if you can guess the products that bear these puzzling warning labels.
Silk Soy Milk – Shake well and buy often. This mix of instruction and marketing advice is as subtle and smooth as its brand name implies. - Kellogg's Corn Flakes – Corn used in this product. No, you're not reading a typo. It actually says that on the side panel. This ranks #2 in the "ehhh . . . obviously" department, barely beating out the tie between Hagan Ice Cream's reported on-the-nose disclaimer, "Caution: Ice cream is cold," and the "Warning: May cause drowsiness" disclaimer found on some sleeping pills.
- C&H Cane Sugar – Ingredient: Sugar. Here's your "ehhh . . . obviously" champion right here. At least there can be no claim of false advertising.
- Axe Body Spray – Avoid spraying in eyes. I don't know about you, but I'm not aware of any person with smelly eyeballs. And if there are any out there, then please inform them that maybe they should consult a physician now. Right now. Stop reading. Go!
Children's Benadryl Allergy Tablets – Be careful when driving a motor vehicle or operating machinery. It's hard to let this one slide when you realize that the medicine is developed for children and not adults, so the disclaimer seems a wee bit oddly placed. However, if you happen to see any drowsy 14-month-old construction workers operating cranes and forklifts, call the authorities . . . and tell that kid to be careful.
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