Test Your Human Heart IQ!

By D. V. Donatelli

The human heart—nobody knows what it does, but most doctors agree it's pretty sweet. Although science has yet to discover its exact purpose, mankind has extrapolated a fair amount of knowledge concerning its structure and uses. Today, we will test and expand upon that knowledge in the hopes that one day this "torso lub-dubber" can be better understood.

True or False?

1. False. The adult heart pumps about 5 gallons of blood per minute. The heart pumps about 5 quarts of blood per minute. Ironically, the heart is grossed out by the sight of blood, but, fortunately, the heart is love, and love is blind, so the heart never sees all that icky blood it pumps.
2. False. The human heart is located on the left side of the torso. Technically, the heart is located in the center of the torso, between the lungs, but the bottom of the heart tips to the left, which is why you feel a stronger heartbeat on that side. It tips to the left because the left ventricle is stronger, and also because the heart is a liberal Democrat.
3. True. Oxygen-poor blood enters the heart from the right. Oxygen-deprived blood enters the right side of the heart through the inferior and superior vena cava. Oxygen-rich blood enters from the left, where the much-stronger left ventricle pumps it to the rest of the body. And, of course, love enters the heart from the middle, where it enriches every aspect of the human experience like a beam of light clearing away the fog of interpersonal isolation.
4. False. The average adult system of blood vessels, lined up end to end, is 5 miles long. It's more than 60,000 miles long! That's long enough to circumnavigate the world more than twice. As always, if you don't believe me, try it yourself.